Don't Panic

Many years ago, my daughter Madison discovered, all on her own, the secret to doing math: “The very first thing you have to do when you encounter a problem," she says, "is this: NOT PANIC."

She's right: Panic has a notoriously poor track record of improving anyone’s command of fractions, or quadratics, or statistics. Other humans, people just like you and me and Madison, have figured out paths from here to there. Following those paths takes work: questions, wrong turns, erasing, trying again. Eventually, something clicks. The understanding is ours. We've acquired both knowledge and evidence that we can acquire more.

I worry that our increasingly convenient world encourages us to regard friction as a malfunction. Something’s hard? Surely there’s a button for that. AI makes it easier than ever to seem to know things we haven't worked to understand. The danger extends beyond a homework assignment: Kids can become dependent on answers they don't know how to question.

When “I don’t know” feels like “I CAN’T,” even starting can seem frightening. As parents, we can help our kids expect the work without dreading it. We can make room for manageable challenges and stick around while they tackle them. We can talk cheerfully about things we're struggling to learn ourselves, ask what they've tried, and help find the missing step or clearer explanation. A good teacher or tutor helps make frustration productive; our local tutoring guide can help you find one. AI can help map the steps, too, provided the child still takes them. Each time kids work through confusion to understanding, they gain something to bring to the next unfamiliar problem: a reason to trust themselves.

First, don't panic. Everyone who knows how to do something was once someone who didn't.

—Debra Ross, publisher

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